July 24, 2014



Steve Kuhn


What good is an amazing story without believable characters to drive it?

Readers need characters that make them feel something. That "something" can be envy, love, anger, annoyance, or any combination of emotions. Without that, your characters are just lifeless drones spewing dialogue across the page. That great exchange you spent three days mulling over, editing and rewriting can become a complete waste of time and effort if it is delivered by characters that the reader can't care about.

Invest in the Back-Story 


If you want your characters to feel real you have to treat them like real people. Everyone you meet has lived their lives and experienced things that mold and shape who they are by the time the two of you cross paths. Those experiences will determine if and why they are cocky, for example, or timid, or introverted/ extroverted... You get the point.

It's imperative that you take the time to invent a back-story for everyone in your written universe. How was their childhood? Did they go to school? If so, were they bullied, or were they a bully themselves? Were they abused emotionally, physically, or otherwise? Did they grow up in a privileged environment or poor on the streets? What types of things happened to them in their lives that made them who they are by the time they reach your story?

As an author, I find this part of the process to be the most fun and rewarding for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, it validates your character as a living, breathing entity within your mind. By the time that character has a back-story, they are a part of you. You can then think like them, act like them, and speak like them. A friend of yours can ask you a random question and you -should- be able to, by that point, answer for both yourself and that character.

Another thing I personally enjoy about it is that I have these secrets that no one knows about and I can reveal them as we go. In fact, most of the time, the majority of a character's back-story doesn't ever need to hit the page unless specifically warranted by your story. All that matters is that you have them existing within yourself and you're able to channel them appropriately.

The final note I want to add to this is that a properly fleshed out character can open future doors for your writing. If you find that your audience enjoys that character and wants more, you can find yourself writing prequels, stand-alones, etc. A good portion of that work will already be done, locked in your mind, and ready for the page.

Take Advantage of Appearances 


First impressions are the same both in text and in the real world. Sure, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but everyone is guilty of that in some way, at some point. Your character descriptions are directly linked to their back-story in that their outward appearance is a result of how your universe shaped their existence.

How they look physically and, to no lesser degree, how they dress should give your reader some insight to that past without giving them the whole story. Jeans and a tee shirt on a bearded man give an entirely different feel than a suit and tie on a clean-cut man.

I know what you’re thinking: "Duh! That's obvious!"

Well, it should be, but sadly there are many writers that make a mess of this by being too obvious or not obvious enough with their choices. In fact, sometimes it can be fun to purposely misdirect your audience through the outward appearance of a character. For example, why not dress a man in clothes that don't necessarily "fit" his character?

Your audience, as in real life, would be shocked to find that the guy with the neck tattoo and blue jeans, the one that everybody expects to be a zombie slaying badass, is really a theoretical physics major at M.I.T.  That tidbit can remain secret until you, the author, see fit to make that reveal. Your reveal can carry so much more weight with that one simple tweak, especially if the surrounding characters treat him similarly.

Also, don't forget that every scar tells a story, whether it be emotionally or physically. You could casually mention a small stitch mark over someone's eye then expand on her entire personality by simply telling the story of how she came to have that scar. Lots to think about!

Provide for Growth and Change 


At the end of your story, a well-created character should have changed drastically by the events that unfolded. I have never read a story in which a character remained the exact same person from beginning to end. Not one that I cared about, anyway. Sometimes, the growth isn't always that glaring, but often there is something major that changes about them from when you originally wrote that back-story in your head.

What did they learn? Were they good then became evil? Were they weak then became strong? Hated then became liked?

Characters should evolve at least a little with every interaction and conversation. You should strive to challenge their motivations and their fictional preconceptions that you laid out in their back-story and force them to face who they are by putting them in situations that are purposefully out of their comfort zone.

Their reactions to those situations will define whether your audience loves them or hates them. I can't see why anyone would feel connected to a timid girl running from zombies... but as soon as you force that timid girl to face her fears and smash in a skull with a shovel, BOOM, people are rooting for her.

Listen to Your Readers 


I encourage you to look more deeply into reader comments, both the positive and negative ones. With the explosive popularity of publishing stories as online serials, authors have a very powerful tool at their disposal these days. That tool is the instant feedback of their comments section. Sadly, many authors use these comments to feed their own egos and they often find themselves smiling as people praise the job they’re doing.

Watch closely how your audience reacts to specific characters and the things they do or say. Use them to your advantage. If you see them hating on one of your beloved characters, you might find yourself writing a redemption arc. If you notice them getting bored with the dialogue of a particular character, spice it up by putting them in more difficult predicaments.

I once noticed that a support character of mine had become so popular that he was, in essence, “stealing the show” and detracting from my overall vision… He’s dead now.

Just remember to always serve your story. Never inject a character into a scene just to give them lines. Never consciously write “filler”. Every line needs a reason to be there. Every character interaction needs to serve a purpose, whether it is to develop themselves or another character further. Only then will the success, failure, trials and tribulations, and yes, even the death of a character really hit home with your audience.

- Steve Kuhn Jr.

Author of the Dext of the Dead series published by Books of the Dead Press, and Run Lilly Run, 
an online zombie fiction serial.

Dext of the Dead Books 1-5 available as eBooks on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords. Coming soon in paperback to the same outlets.

Run Lilly Run currently available as an online serial at Kuhn's website

Steve Kuhn on Facebook
Steve Kuhn on Twitter  or tweet @dextandcrew

July 1, 2014

Dear Minister- Advice From Sean T. Page, Minister of Zombies

Zombie Survival – A View from the UK 

Following the last post back in January, we’ve continued our work to support worried Britons as they prepare for inevitable arrival of the walking dead.  We’ve even had a few letters from our good cousins in the USA so we are happy to be able to include one of their queries in our postbag for this month. 

Interestingly, many of our communications from the New World come via ‘electronic mail’ which here at the Ministry we are now fully equipped to handle with our new microcomputer. In fact, we are just ‘emailing’ our bank details & pin numbers across to a very friendly gentleman from Nigeria who dropped us an ‘email’ out of the blue with an amazing opportunity. We’ll keep you posted on that one. 

For now, here is a selection from our postbag:

Dear Minister of Zombies,
I’ve just watched World War Z for the hundredth time & have a query about how to survive an outbreak as happened in the film.
I noted with interest that Brad Pitt’s hair was simply fantastic in most scenes. I don’t know if he conditions it or what but even during the action sequences, it was wavy vision of perfection.
What are your top tips for having perfect hair during a zombie apocalypse? Coconut & corpse shampoo? Bloody red streaks in the hair?
 --Vidal Sassoon Wannabe, London

Dear Wannabe,
You are a strange one aren’t you? All this talk of Brad Pitt’s hair is distracting you from the real issue. 

You must focus on core zombie survival training & not concern yourself with expensive shampoos or conditioners. You won’t have time to stay clean when the dead rise so get back to basics you beauty-obsessed nutcase. 

(By the way, our Hollywood contacts tell us that Brad Pitt’s hair has signed up to do another World War Z film & is also soon to take to the stage in the West Production of Chicago – worth keeping an eye out for tickets.)

Dear Minister of Zombies,
I live in the United States & I’ve gone more guns than I know what to do with. I got guns in the lounge. Guns in the bedroom. Guns in the bathroom. I can hardly get in the house now – too many guns.
So, I just wanted to say I feel for you all in the UK. You guys are going to be in a whole heap of trouble once the zombies arrive. Stay strong over there & if you can leave do. Just don’t all come to America – well, not all at once anyway.
--Gun-Freak, USA

Dear Gun-Freak USA,
Thanks for your electronic communication. We are happy that you have so many guns & thank you for the picture you also sent. Which is of guns. Lots of guns. It is true that we are up against here in the UK in terms of fire arms.
The Ministry of Zombies itself is licensed to hold a small cache of weapons which includes my Great-Grandfathers blunderbuss from World War One, a replica Samurai sword, a plastic Klingon bat’leth & a couple of sharpened sticks. We’re not kidding ourselves that we’ll be able to hold out for long with that lot.
However, remember that zombie survival is more than just fire arms. Don’t overlook your 90 day survival plan & always develop your survival skills. Guns aren’t the only solution but we are envious of your right to "bear arms."

Dear Minister of Zombies,
I think you do more harm than good with your boring posts.
Look, I’m happy to describe myself as a ‘karate man’. I’ve been training for over a decade now & reckon I could beat Chuck Norris if I caught him by surprise. Basically, I’m a hard nut & all your stuff just scares people who are unprepared.
Everyone should just take karate & be a karate man like me. From what I’ve seen zombies are slow anyway so it’ll be no problemo taking them all down.
--Hiyaaahh Karate Man,  Croydon

Dear Hiyaaahh Karate Man,
Firstly, our posts are not always boring. That one on the merging of Forms 455/HK/KLL (How to book a Ministry parking space) with Form 788/KL/JKK (The ordering of a new pencil) was an essential read for internal staff & received a lot of great feedback. 

Secondly, all martial arts are based on human opponents. They often make use of pressure points or locks. Many of the moves will not work on the undead & some of them will get you killed. 

Sure,  a flying kick will take down a lumbering zombie. If you catch a ghoul in a head lock, the creature will simply bite chomp down on your arm, taking a tasty chunk of flesh. We do not recommend hand to hand combat with the walking dead but if you have to, look to take them down & make your escape. 

You need to re-think your karate skills in a battle against the dead. By the way, we emailed Chuck Norris & he is happy to take you on – anytime.

Dear Minister of Zombies,
I’ve found a way to combine my hobby with my preparations for the zombie apocalypse ,but before I cover that I must congratulate you on that post about securing a Ministry parking space. Invaluable to me & my boyfriend & ordering pencils has never been easier.Anyhow, back onto my main point.
I enjoy comic books & plan to dress up as Catwoman the moment the walking dead appear. I will then prowl the streets protecting the innocent. I wanted my boyfriend to be Batman but he wants to be Spiderman. I’ve even made us matching utility belts.
--Trainee Catwoman

Dear Trainee Catwoman,
Spandex catsuits & zombies should not be mixed. An outfit like this would be madness during a zombie outbreak. It will offer you no bite protection at all & over the chaotic first weeks of the zombie war, will become a smelly & most impractical outfit.

Our advice is to forget the PVC & go for more robust army surplus gear. By all means, use the utility belt- but wear tough clothes like denim and a leather jacket. Leave the catsuit & whip at home.

That’s all for the postbag for this time. We get some strange queries here at the Ministry of Zombies but we try to answer every one!
If you have any questions, you can always email them in to: seantpage@ministryofzombies.com